Self censorship and would you shut up already?
It's bizarre the extent to which we all censor ourselves. I should be fair, though, and say that I'm really talking about myself (it is my blog, afterall). I do believe that some self censorship is ok, even expected. I mean, no, that haircut looks GREAT on you. No harm done. If I were to inform the universe about half the things that go through my mind on a daily basis, not only might I be committed, but I'd also just be modeling terrifically bad form. Narcissism to boot.
But, I have this blog, see. I like to talk about things. But it weirds me out how many different people read it (family, friends, colleagues, students, patients, strangers). I realize that my life is pretty compartmentalized. There are certain things that some of you know, and other things that the others know. Only one person really knows the whole story, and she doesn't read blogs - haha. Anyway, there's something that's really been bugging me and it seems like this public forum is a good place to work through it. Why? Because it involves most of you.--- I'm a religious person. There's just no way to get around it. I wasn't born that way, I wasn't raised that way. I was raised to have a general respect for everyone, and to think for myself. I've been working both of those angles for almost 33 years, and it's working out pretty well for me. I can't say I witness a lot of either from even some of my nearest and dearest friends. Especially around the topic of religion. Look, I know that religious people have done some screwed up things in the world. But, really, haven't lots of people? Haven't meat eaters and Democrats and bisexuals and tennis fans and just about everyone done some pretty crazy stuff? And, really, when you look at the root of a lot of issues, isn't it the love of MONEY and the obsession with possession that lies at the root of most really bad stuff? Anyway, is that even the POINT? I know a lot of religious people. They are among the most tolerant, loving, open, funny and - yes - good people that I know. They are doctors (of various kinds) and teachers and gas station attendants and hippies and commies and computer programmers and authors and artists and cashiers and, you know, all the rest of the stuff. They are gay and lesbian, straight, bisexual, queerish. They have kids and don't. They have various political affiliations.
Are they always good? No. Are you? Do they always have their best foot forward? No. Sometimes they slip - they walk their path with all the integrity they can muster, and sometimes a bad day just gets too bad. They slam doors. They make assumptions. They speed in school zones. What they share (and I share with them) is a thorough commitment to getting to know God. Please don't run screaming. It's really not that big a deal, ok? Get over it. God God God God God. I don't know what that means. That's sort of what I'm trying to figure out. But I do know that since I started on this path, four or five years ago, I've become a more tolerant person, a person more willing to listen to all sides of a story. Because I'm trying to learn from some pretty intense examples - the examples I find in the holy books of my tradition. Do those books always make sense? No. But, then, I'm glad I've got Marcus Borg. If you are triggered by Christian language and so forth, I suggest you pick up one of Marcus' books. Anyway - none of this is the point. There are bad religious people out there - people not following the examples that are really, really in those holy books. People who take the language and twist it. People who have decided that religion is an excuse for them to stop thinking, to fill their hearts with hate and to trample all over the rights and lives of good people. You trashing religions, or religious people with broad generalizations and small minded language does nothing to help anything. It's your right, of course, and I will do nothing to take that from you. But know that it's hurtful, and it's stupid. Religious people and their detractors both need to do a little more listening, and a whole lot less talking. Eric Grey
Episcopalian, mostly