Oops, I did it again
Sometimes I really berate myself for not being more forthcoming on this, my personal blog. Then I think about how funny that is - how indicative of the times in which I live. Formerly, the intimate details of a person's mind were not fodder for public consumption. If they were, that person was usually famous, and usually the details were published post-mortem - after a battle from the family and considerable press. But here I am, nobody in particular, giving myself a hard time for not bleeding all over the Internet. Weird.
This is made even stranger by the fact that there aren't many people actually READING what I'm writing. So, on the one hand - who cares if I post or not. On the other hand, who cares if I post everything? It's a "in my head" kind of thing, I suppose. I do find it a helpful exercise, however, this blogging thing. That is, ultimately, why I do it. I do journal in an offline way, and that's fine. I generally do that just to remind myself of what happened during a day, to record important events, and so on. I find that as I get older, I do that kind of thing more often. My memory's going, see. Blogging is different because the public aspect of it forces me to think things through a little more (not much, but a little). I find myself more reflective, but also more critical of my grammatical and spelling mistakes. The first is helpful because, believe it or not, reflection isn't really something at which I excel. The latter is helpful because I do plan to write multiple books and journal articles, and the ol' writing muscles get rusty after being dormant too long. It was just Christmas. I do celebrate Christmas - full blown. I listen to Christmas music. I put up a Christmas tree. I generally go to Christmas services (not this year) - Episcopalian. I think about Christmas-y things. I buy presents. I hate wrapping them. I enjoy my family, I enjoy cookies. I do the thing. I enjoy it, I look forward to it every year. I also enjoy the post-Christmas time because it always seems that a considerable amount of energy is available for change. It's a reflective time, if I may revisit that theme. The whole New Year's resolution thing also adds to this aspect of the season. When I think about it, I actually really just love this time of year. Though, I have to admit, I'm missing the sunshine and easy going socialization of the summer. This year feels especially significant to me, 2010. It's my first full year as a practitioner of Chinese medicine, and I expect my practice to really take off. I want to see more patients, I want to solidify my clinical flow. It's also the year I will turn 33 - a number that probably doesn't seem especially significant to anyone, but given that as a teenager I didn't expect to last to 30 - every year past that seems a triumph. 33 is interesting because it's not really "pushing 40" but it's clearly not just 30. Stupid, maybe, but it feels a certain way to me. The biggest thing I want to emphasize this year is consistency. In blogging and offline writing pursuits and also, especially, in my physical cultivation. The older I get, the harder it gets to coax my body (inside and out) into what I want it to be. Time's a wasting - and I still have this goal to hike the Pacific Coast trail, stem to stern, before I'm 40. Gotta get into shape, you know? Last year, I focused a lot on spiritual cultivation - and that has really come full circle for me. Doesn't seem like the right time to discuss it here, but soon. Anyway - I hope everyone had a great winter holiday season and that you are all finding yourself in that same reflective mode - ready for another year of awakening, growth and renewal. Life is good. Let's keep it that way.
